Ultra low rise jeans for men… Can an older guy bare as much as a babe?

Q. I was wondering what your advice on straight guys wearing ultra low rise jeans with a little tummy showing? I am in my late forties but I have a very flat, tanned stomach, and a slim build.

My girlfriend loves me wearing lowrise jeans! She has seen a few guys about wearing belly baring jeans and I know it is becoming a more common fashion trend. Any opinions??? Thanks and regards. (Newcastle, UK)

A. Ok, sweetcakes, let’s access. You’re in pretty darn studly shape for a guy who is technically middle-age, bravo! No need to pull out the gramps pleated pants and sensible cardigan just yet. But, as you get older, are you not supposed to get wiser? First off, why does it matter if you are gay or straight to wear lowcut jeans or anything else for that matter? It would be more socially significant if you would perhaps put more personal insight into why that is even an issue for you.

I prefer to think of low rise skinny jeans as rock star pants-- but the rockers who look hot in them are skinny boys who, collectively, have been making the same anti-establishment statement for the past 30 years. From a fashion standpoint, ridiculously low waisted jeans are on their way out of style. Higher waist pants on a guy always look strange and a little Ed Grimley-ish anyway. Most men, look best in jeans that hit right below their natural waist— not too high, not too low.

Then, there’s the how low can you go trend…

In an everyday situation, a man—who is hopefully very fit— wearing very, very low rise pants where you can start to see the hair growing to a spot otherwise left for private occasions, or can see where his hipbones converge to the groin, in a word, skanky!

Your body may be holding up—but what about your face?

Do you absolutely still look like a twenty-something hottie or more like a hot bod Photoshopped onto a geezer head??? Think about it— fashion is about the total picture. If you and your girl get off dressing all frisky and young, fine. Do so on a weekend away at the beach or in the privacy of your own candlelight dinner. But for regular walking around, have some common sense and mercy on the public not to wear ultra low waist pants that bare too much fleshy information! Please restrain yourself, nobody wants see a midlife himbo.

Instead of baring your belly and butt crack in provocative super low jeans, why not look modern, sophisticated, and hot in normal lowrise jeans and a form fitting T-shirt that nicely grazes over your six-pack? When in doubt, bear in mind that wearing well-fitting clothes that leave a little to the imagination is always a whole lot classier then baring your backside. And, please no Speedos either.

--June 17, 2007

Reader feedback :
Just wanted to let you know that was the funniest and most right on advice I have read in a long time...I was literally laughing so hard I was tearing up. Hopefully the "hot bod geezer head" (lol) listened... HEE HEE. - H.K. Nashville, IN